Things I learned from my family on Turkey Day

1.Sunny in Philadelphia…absolutely the most frustrating hilarious show I’ve seen in at least four months…I have to hand it to my cousin Julie, she sure knows how to pick good entertainment…Many thanks for the next 80 hours of wasted time I will be spending catching up on this show.  As a side note, it turns out my bro-in-law, the geek of microbiology was already familiar with the show… I should have known… What boggles my mind is how everyone has time to find these entertaining skits of mindless wanderings…someday I’ll find the answer…

2.  BeanBoozled… Loads of fun spinning the arrow and hoping for Chocolate pudding only to get Canned dog food flavored Jelly Belly’s.  Many laughs and a few spit out candies are absolutely the must have game for any family gathering.  Highly recommended.

Side note:  the following morning we fed some to Bryce and Braxton.  I think Bryce’s taste bud’s are not yet developed as he ate Skunk and Rotten Egg with little reaction.  But trust me when I say his breath was a force to be reckoned with after that…Braxton was wise enough to spit the distasteful beans out…

3. Williams-Sonoma… of course everyone knows this company but I was feel less refined now that I am learning now incredible they really are.  From the best cook book recipes to the most amazing desserts.  I mean just look at these little Snowman Brownies!

4. Roasted Chestnuts…Yes, I change the words to this song too…but until now, I had no idea how good an actual roasted chest nut is…or how hard it is to peal them if you don’t peal right after heating.  Delicious on their own and even better as part of the Turkey stuffing!

5. Loaded Questions…Enough said.  Whoever came up with this game clearly planned to entrap me using my most vulnerable area against me… speaking too quickly.  I have to give credit to my friend Mark though, he holds the prize for best answer about the economics of a thief.

6. Steve…supposedly this guy was at our Halloween party…who knew!  Would not be a party without him and we had a great time hanging out with our cousins and their friends whom we consider our friends too…Can’t wait to do it again!

All it takes is one small failure

As an alumni of the Elmhurst’s Citizen's Police Academy and avid supporter of the positive contributions of our officers on the community, I am compelled to provide some constructive feedback.  I picked up a pizza with my 5 year old son last Thursday around 6:30 PM.  As you know, this is a busy time of day and the 10 minute parking signs are in front of the south shops along the tracks for a reason.  However, in my particular instance, (yes, it's about me but I know this has to have been something one of you has fell victim to), I was ONLY able to get a parking spot in the 10 minute spot.  As luck would have it, our pizza was going to be 10 minutes late...go figure...well, I thought I would be fine, it would be close but, since I technically had 10 minutes, I waited, check out the menu at Flight 112 which I had not yet visited and then picked up the Za. 

Imagine my surprise (or not), when an officer is parked along side my car, a ticket on the opposite side of my windshield (so he had to walk around the car, place the ticket, and return to his car…at least 30 seconds of my 10 minute time slot used).   Now, the car behind me and in front of me were both parked before I arrived, so all three (maybe more, not sure), received tickets…maybe it was a ticket by association?

I commented to the officer that I had to have been close to the time if I was indeed over, showing my recently obtained pizza...and asked if he could do anything (trying to give him and I both an out to be civil about an obvious mistake and show my son how respect will lead to fair execution of justice).  All I received was a stone-faced, take it up with City Hall...Ah...nothing says “I do my job and can’t think for myself” like that kind of comment.

So, internally fuming, I get my son strapped into his booster seat, and review the ticket and found there was no time marked for when the car was first noticed in the 10 minute slot, just a time for the ticket.  Clearly, the officer was doing rounds and blindly starting writing.  

And now my 5 year old is asking questions about why I received a ticket and why the police officer was not catching bad guys.  Of course, I covered for the police department, wanting my son to grow up with the right respect and understanding of our law enforcement...so I told him that Daddy was parked too long…fortunately he doesn’t tell time so this worked out (so yes, I lied to my son, to cover for the department)...this then led to a "why did you park so long” diatribe...causing me undue restraint of my temper (towards the officer, not my son)... In the end, it's frustrating to have such stringent enforcement on 10 minute parking by our officers (or at least this officer…I wouldn’t want you to think I’m stereotyping) as it distracts from much broader community impacting goals such as safety of our children and protecting the community.

When people talk about speeding and rolling through stop signs, it’s all venting to avoid the obvious truth, they committed an infraction…of which are enforced for SAFETY.  Using all 10 minutes of a limited parking location is not.  There was a much greater and obvious incentive for me to vacate that parking spot…I had four hungry people waiting for my delivery, two of which do not have any patience at all when it comes to food (have you tried placating a 5 and 2 year old during dinner?).  Clearly I was not in need of a reminder to follow the directions of a sign…But no, logic was not going to prevail that day…

Now, the reality of this whole situation is I have to take time off from work to 1. go to city hall and request a court date (of course I'm not going to pay for something I'm not at fault for)…that’s about 1 hour of lost wages and a day I have to leave work early…and 2. take time off for the actual court date…who knows how much time this will take.  For those not familiar, this results in lost Paid Time Off (PTO) for me which I save to spend with my family.  Quite honestly, I believe people should be reimbursed for their time in either monetary or services rendered (mow my lawn maybe?) when mistakes are made.   We’ll see how that request goes over with the Judge during my court date...

I recall from my Citizen’s Police Academy sessions that our officers were going to spend more time with our citizens and build more of a relationship…that may be happening in our high schools which is great, but I think we’re failing in other places…

So,I ask the department, specifically, the Chief, is this the kind of relationship with the community we want to build...one of ticketing at the 10 minute mark (with which one could associate with various negative and inflammatory reasons) that leads to decreased time from their family or risking job security in these economic times (no I’m not worried about my job but there are upstanding citizens who can not afford time off without issue from employers)?  Are the economics and rules of our great city more important than the livelihood of our community and the respect for our officers?   Of course not, so the next time there is an officer briefing, let’s remind our officers of the greater goals and the values we want to instill in our young when our upstanding and valued citizens are abiding by our laws, supporting our city, shopping local, and feeding their kids :-)

The perfect shopping experience

Ok friends, it’s about time you slackers stopped letting your wives and girlfriends dress you.  And if she isn’t, then you probably haven’t updated your wardrobe since middle school. Yea, a true friend tells you the truth so take it!…

Reality is, guys don’t like to shop…and we are very black and white on the subject… 1) clothes we love that we wear until they are thread bare and utterly useless but will never admit it, and 2) fashionable wear that sends pheromone eliciting signals with laser guided focus.  The problem, at least for me and I suspect both of you, is finding time to identify clothes in scenario 2 since clothes from scenario 1 have been amassed since middle school.

I recently discovered a solution to my dilemma, thanks to a colleague.  Trunkclub.com provides shopping services and fashion advice for men at zero cost. Now, you’re gonna pay retail for your wardrobe but you never have to step foot into another store again.  Here’s how it works…

1.  Register with TrunkClub

2.  Set up an interview

with a TrunkClub expert (you provide likes/dislikes, sizing, etc…)…did I mention this is done over Skype with a webcam?  A bit awkward if you’re not used to this but it’s really no different than talking with someone at a retail store only it’s someone more knowledgeable and professional…Oh, and if you don’t have a webcam, they’ll send you one…FREE.

3.  You receive your first shipment (again, free) and try on your new digs…

4.  Set up a review appointment to try on the clothes and get fit advice from your Trunk expert (no you don’t change in front of her)…did I mention you’re getting advice from professional, educated women, who are going to compliment you on the selections?  Ok, they are selling you but also, they are helping you…check out the profiles of some of the certified experts

5.  Keep and pay for what you want, throw the rest back in the box (no folding here guys) and schedule fedex to pick it up…free of charge!

I mean, seriously, show me a guy who doesn’t love compliments from smart, attractive women and hates to set foot near a shopping environment and I’ll show you…well, I can’t…there’s no such thing…

So, when you’re ready to get your scenario 2 into order like i was, you should check it out…and tell them I sent you…

Sasquatch-sized Carbon Footprint

I just signed up on EarthLab.  It was introduced to me through my company as we are working to reduce our overall impact on the environment globally through work-related carbon reduction activities.  As part of the Earthlab site I was able to see my current (gastly) sasquatch sized foot print of an impact and immediately select a ton of ways to reduce it.  The site is extremely easy to use and has a lot of very quick and easy ways to make an impact.  For instance, I had no idea that the bottle caps on plastic bottles are not recyclable (why?) and if the recycling plant gets a bottle with the cap on, they disgard the entire bottle (again, why?).  So, by removing the cap first, you have a higher chance of it being recycled.  Of course, we’re making up for a very illogical process on both the reasons for 1) distributors not using recyclable caps and 2) recyclers throwing out bottles instead of unscrewing the cap…but until we change that, it’s a great way to help.  I’m sure thankful for the millions of people that read my blog so this will get passed along quickly…

Here’s a quick update that I just saw that could be a silver bullet in our plastic water bottle issue… http://www.impactlab.com/2008/11/26/introducing-the-paper-bottle/

Underselling

So my son Braxton starts kindergarten next year and as part of the process I guess there is some sort of readiness assessment.  Not sure what happens if you don’t pass but that’s another story.

Anyway, on the way there, he must have been nervous about the situation, thinking through all his deep knowledge gained over his lengthy 5 years of life, and said, “mom, I get confused between my sixes and nines”… Of course my answer would have been, “don’t worry son, when you get older, you’ll want them together in either direction…” but fortunately, I wasn’t there, and my wife had a more appropriate answer which was “sixes sit down”.  I’ve never heard that but it seemed pretty good. 

What’s more interesting is my son completely under sold his skills during the “interview”.  According to the teacher/aid/part-time person that conducted this assessment (she was very nice my wife says), Braxton went in and meekly pronounced, “I can’t read”.  I had to chuckle at his transparency of information given that he does know some words and although he has certain books and phrases memorized, he does pretty well. 

Of course, I’ll need to work with him on his interviewing skills as you never want to start out with “I can’t…”   My advice, if prompted for areas of development, would be to aptly explain that reading is a secondary skill to his ability to innovatively reengineer complex technology components his father happens to accidently leave in an open, inviting area.

My compass

How do you reflect on 37 years of love, caring, and protection from the one person who was always there for you…The one person that cleaned your skinned knees a child, who scraped every penny to buy you that must have new Lego set, the person who always had a bed for you even when you left for college.

Is it right to let work keep you from taking time to reflect on these things?  Should friends and personal commitments keep you from having a day to sink back into those memories?  Or do you just keep plugging away, not allowing yourself to live in the past, pushing forward, keeping a strong focus on today?

This past year has gone by all too quickly and I wonder if I kept my mother in my thoughts enough.  I wonder if my achievements to-date and especially over the past year would make her proud.  Well, of course she would.  I could have had any profession in good standing and she would have been proud…she was my mom.

I still have a dozen boxes of her dolls in our basement.  I can procrastinate having to sort through them for awhile with all of the other priorities going on right now. But is my procrastination really out of respect for her things or my lack of desire to accept she is really gone?

Every time I see my boys look at a picture of her or Braxton asks about her, I’m so thoroughly crushed by the thoughts of her missing them grow up.  She was still such a kid at heart and loved every moment with her grandchildren.  Am I going to be the kind of father my kids will be so inspired by when I’m gone? 

Life is such a circus of emotions where every one or thing holds a lever of some size that slows you down, speeds you up, and throws you into a tail spin.  The lever that was pulled last year at this time was the one I never expected so soon.  As much as I love surprises, April fool’s, and jumping out at my kids from around the corner, unexpected stops on the roller coaster shouldn’t be part of the ride.

As I write this down, I wonder if it’s therapeutic, cathartic, or a feeble attempt to take action when there were so many times when I could have done more.  Thinking of her, my eyes well up, my throat gets choked, my breathing slows, and my head just drops.  It’s just still too difficult to accept.  She was such a better person that I could ever be and she was my compass.

I can’t help but think about how fortunate I was in the midst of a challenging childhood to have one of the world’s greatest hearts in my mom.

I’ll never let a day go by where I’m not thankful for the lessons she instilled within me.

As I faded in and out during my meetings today, I found myself remembering random, nonsensical things that I’ll always keep with me….

She loved Sean Connery…It’s a strange notion to find out your mother finds an actor in your favorite movie series is attractive….made me smile to think about that moment…

Fabric stores…Just walking in and being enveloped in the smell of a Jo-Ann Fabrics or Michaels brings back a flood of memories hiding behind yards of fabric and complaining about wanting to leave…now it’s nostalgic…go figure

Pretzels…she loved them… and would eat them on the road to help her stay awake on trips around the Midwest…when we got our car back from her after living overseas, the floors we covered in pretzel salt…it was funny then, and even funnier now…

So, I know I’ll eventually find a home for her myriad collection of dolls.  My boys will continue to enjoy all of her Disney movies.  I’ll spend time remembering the simple times that she was so good at reminding me of, through her innocence and wonder at life.  And I think I’ll sit down and watch one of her favorites, remembering how she’d have popcorn and work on her sewing crafts while watching and laughing like we all used to as a child.  That’s really life…staying as true to ourselves as we were in our youth, our true north…that’s what she always did.

Recommended Chicago Restaurant

I’ve bragged about this place for a couple years now…and I’m thrilled to see the latest press around it…

Alinea cracked the top 10 of the worlds top 50 best restaurants in a list by S. Pellegrino.  I had the pleasure of enjoying the Tour with a wonderful wine paring a few years back.  It was definitely one of the most exotic and memorable dining experiences my taste buds have ever known.  Great place for a major anniversary or celebration with a small circle of friends.  Be prepared to take out a loan for the meal though…

Full story by my friends at Chicago Business and CBS….

http://www.chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/news.pl?id=33754

http://cbs2chicago.com/local/alinea.best.restaurants.2.990171.html